I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
