I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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