i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
