I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
