Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
