I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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