her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
