Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
