dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
