the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
