so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
