Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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