it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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