Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
