what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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