My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
