I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
