windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
