How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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