Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
