just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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