Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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