i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
