Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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