I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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