how do flat chested girls get laid?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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