His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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