ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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