And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
