The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
