You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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