it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
