Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
