Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
