when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
