I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
