I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
