I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
