I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
