grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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