I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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