part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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