Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
