Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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