You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
