I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
