I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We are all done wearing pants today
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
