Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
