Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
