they need to just BURY HIM!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
